“…may it not break, beauty, from out my hands, my head, my feet?” -H.D.

It’s been almost two years since my last update. And all those gifted items have essentially sat unused in a corner until a few months ago, when I finally dared to clear a corner, pick up a gorgeous free table, and let some light shine in! With the speed of a glacier, I picked up pens and pencils and tested out new materials. In my previous studio, I had the space to really lean into the sculptural, working with wood, stone, and found materials. Now I only have a 5' x 5' space to work in. Anything that might scratch the hardwood floors is out of the question, so I've adapted to working on small pieces on paper in pen, gouache, and collage. These are not new to me, but they have not been my favorite media. I have found that I get pretty fussy when I paint, often getting lost in the details. However, in the past few years, I've been trying to keep an open mind about what I think I believe about myself and the world, so I decided to adopt a similar attitude towards artmaking. Letting go of any expectation, I'm attempting to create loose paintings and sketches based on what I see, not necessarily simplifying, but instead not overthinking what I see. We are all constantly projecting our own selves onto and into the world. I'm not interested in plumbing the depths of that right now; I'm delighting in the acts of seeing and translating sight impressions quickly onto the paper. I started doing this after remembering an exercise from my first art class in the early '90s.  Earlier this year, I tested this practice on some unsuspecting colleagues. It resulted in some really loose and lovely sketches, as well as interesting conversations, as we spent time drawing one another and reflecting on the experience.  Sometime in midsummer, I began to do a quick blind contour sketch in the morning, along with my morning pages. At some point, I stopped writing altogether and spent the early mornings only looking at the world around me and sketching. 

Just this past month, I decided that I needed to add color as well, so I bought a new watercolor set on vacation. First, I painted some small rectangles and sketched on others. Then, a few weeks ago, I decided to try combining the two and have been experimenting with different methods: using pen and ink on top of wet watercolors, adding watercolors to a pen drawing, and pre-painting the paper with watercolor and then adding to it with a pen drawing. I don't know where this method is going, but I'm invested in following it as it changes and evolves. I'm noticing how much less anxious I am and how much more adventurous I've become with my artmaking. It sounds so obvious when I say it. Still, the lived experience of a thing is always miles away, and a much fuller, richer experience than the theoretical knowledge of a thing. 

If you've made it this far, you mean more to me than you know, and I hope you'll continue following along so I can share my journey with you and, perhaps, hear about your journeys as well.